Right now, I’m sitting at my desk, listening to Beethoven and doing this:
Seriously. It’s a literal party in my pants that only I’m invited to.
Want play a symphony with your booty too? Don’t just sit on your ass!
Get yourself some ass-olations with these helpful rump-shakin’ tips and tricks that I learned from Nicole Da Pole Williams, owner of Los Angeles’ Pole Dance Allure.
How to isolate your glutes:
1. Find your butt muscles
No matter how big your butt is, I promise you there are muscles under all that soft, jingly marshmallow junk. Just close your eyes and squeeze those ass muscles together.
Don’t worry about isolating at first. Just try clenching your butt cheeks together. Remember to relax your hips and legs. These are ass-olations, so the only part of your body that should be moving is your money-maker.
2. Get on your hands and knees! (That was kind of fun to say)
This is the easiest way to isolate those ass muscles. Start by sitting on your hands an knees. Open your knees and spread them apart. Bring your hands to the floor, leaning forward. Your toes should be touching behind you, with your luscious lady lumps right about them. Keep your head up and your back arched. If you’re having trouble visualizing this position, think of a super sexy Sphinx.
Try clenching one cheek by itself, without moving the other one. Switch sides and repeat at least 12 times.
3. Make that Tush Talk
Got something to say? Say it with your ass. I promise everyone will listen.
Try standing up and practicing your ass-olations. But talk as you do it, as if you were ass was pantomiming… as if your tush was doing the talking. Don’t laugh. This isn’t funny.
4. Make Your Ass Sing
Once you think you’ve got this down and dirty, put on some music with a beat that makes your booty bounce. Now you can squeeze your butt cheeks in time with the rhythm.
In the words of Mystical: Shake ya ass. Show me what ya workin’ with.
Wow